This is such a random concept for a blog post that I'll be surprised if anyone actually reads more than the first paragraph.  If you actually read the whole thing, you seriously have to comment just to let me know you did. [/shameless blog comment bait]

I was tempted to call this post "How To Write A Review", but it struck me that that would be terribly egotistical for almost anyone without a PhD to pretend to know something about (especially when you consider I've never written one).  Actually that's only partly true.  I've written reviews of various things up, but just so we're on the same page: The reason I felt like writing this post is to vent on all reviews that don't live up to my high judging standards.

Confused?  Keep on reading.

Right, so when I want to read a book, watch a movie or do something else with an item requiring a review (we'll focus mainly on books here), I have particular things I want to see.  First off, I'll almost always look for negative reviews first.  Why?  Well, basically, I'll try to find all the negative reviews and skim over them.  Some are ridiculous: "This book is lame...'cause it's like...Calvinistic 'n stuff.  And Calvin was Catholic.  He executed some guy named Sertevus." [/Random Arminian blog post jab of the day].  Those kinds of reviews are even more incoherent than this blog post.

Usually I can tell when skimming over reviews which ones are likely to give me an idea of the weak points of the book(/anything else that can be reviewed).  This wouldn't ordinarily be necessary, except that most good reviews consist of, "I loved this book!  It meant so much to me and encouraged me.  Read it, you won't be sorry!" 

Unhelpful. 

Why?

It tells me absolutely nothing. 

Let me give you an example: I hate eggs.  Obviously, I have lots of things with eggs in them.  Most good tasting things have eggs hidden in them somewhere.  But personally, I think they taste terrible by themselves.  I'll eat them if I have to, but they're about my least favorite thing I've ever tried.  You can stow all the 'picky eater' comments.  I've heard them.  Back to the point: I could write a review on eggs (assuming there was a place where eggs could be reviewed - get back to me if you find one and I'll write a review on them) saying that I think eggs are evil.  That God intended them only to be eaten inside other stuff.  I could further say that it's sinful to eat eggs by themselves.  Who knows, if I sounded intelligent enough, I might even be able to convince someone (yeah, right).  But my review would only be helpful to someone who also disliked eggs.  Anyone who liked eggs would look at me like I was nuts. 

Point: Reviews that say, "I loved this book!  It meant so much to me and encouraged me.  Read it, you won't be sorry!" only work when the person reading the review thinks the same thing about the product as the reviewer.  They have to have a similar mindset about it. 

A review is supposed to help you decide if you want to read/watch/use it.  Simply saying that they liked it tells you only that you'll like it if you are similar enough to the person who reviewed it positively. 

Anyhow, bad reviews:  If a bad review is well written, usually the reviewer will give actual reasons why they disliked something.  They'll tell you what it was that didn't work for them.  If it is a book or movie, or something that can be spoiled by hearing too much about it, the reviewer must be able to elaborate on why they disliked it without telling you too much about it and ruining for you. 

Frankly, when I see a review that doesn't list anything bad about whatever is being reviewed, what I'll see out of that is that the reviewer is not discerning.  It probably won't convince me to buy the product unless I've already decided to buy it anyway. 

To sum up for you who skipped to the bottom: Bad reviews are more likely to be helpful than good reviews because bad reviews tell you what they didn't like about it, giving you facts to guide your decision as to whether you should use the product.  Good reviews rarely tell you anything.  That is what you need: Facts that will help you determine whether the product is for you. 

And just for the record, I usually only give helpful reviews when I'm negatively reviewing something - on positive reviews, I tend to be just as undiscerning as the next guy.

As for what's going on right now: Sunday, I'll be speaking at Carmel Village (and possibly in the evening service at church) on John 15:1-8.  Wow, that is a convicting set of verses.  Encouraging at the same time.  They're the kind of verses that you cannot study closely and leave unscathed.  They're exactly what the writer of Hebrews is talking about when he says, "the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit."

If I get an audio, I might post a copy on here (and if I don't...or if it goes really bad, I'll post an mp3 of John MacArthur preaching on it. )

In a week or so, whenever I finish it, I'll see if I can get a review up of a book I'm reading right now: "The Bruised Reed" by Richard Sibbes.

¹ “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.  ² Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. ³ You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. ⁴ Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.  ⁵ “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. ⁶ If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷ If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. ⁸ By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

(John 15:1-8)